Passing It Over

This has been in the office for far more days than eight. The sign behind it reads "Free Giveaway." Whoever designed this piece is an obvious anti-semite. This thing's existence is bordering on a hate crime. Look at that holy plastic glow. Since no one had taken advantage of this generous giveaway over the course of the three weeks it has dominated the lighting of the kitchen, I escorted it to the adjacent elevator lobby. I put it in an elevator and then pushed all of the buttons. Well I didn't push "stop" or "emergency." I wonder if anybody will throw it out. I hope it makes it to the lobby. "Good day sir, getting on here?" What a beautiful orange. Speaking of orange and prejudices.... It is a similair tone of orange to that of the outer epidermal layer on all the women who work in ad-sales. They all seem to be the proud owners of blue-blazered husbands, some form of lab or retriever, white turtleneck sweaters, houses in Jersey, Westchester or Connecticut. So paints the picture of the photographs adorning their offices and cubicles. They don't say hello in the hallway. They seem to have most everything figured out. Except for how to not look like you developed jaundice at the tanning salon. To each her own.