I do not like Andrew Dice Clay. Neither does someone who's phone number is 814-414-5619. I am not so sure what area code that is in but a quick gooooogling should put me in the know. Most likely it's in one of those God-y states. What up Jesus? I'm fine, thank you for asking. How is the tooth fairy? I always imagined, sexy. That's probably because I still had some baby teeth through the early years of high school. I don't get many right numbers here in the hallway. Not too many people need to call me here in regards to my busy business and their goings on. Most of the wrong numbers that i get are able to decifer that they have not reached he with whom they had intended to speak and politely hang up if I am not here to inform them of there simple innacuracy of their button pushing ways. Not last night. I typed in my mailbox and my mailbox code and was informed that old area code 814 was "fucking irate". I had "put a has-been fucking drug addict loser on television." Said loser being Andrew "the Diceman" Clay. In case you missed "The Adventures of Ford Fairlane" you can reference the stylish photo above. Having put this junkie onto the telvision program that i apparently own and run, i have "offended the lord, and the fucking religious beliefs" of 814. Well I don't know what religion they practice out there but I hope it is not as misogynistic as this "fucking guy who's been out since 1992". I hope it is not as homophobic either. Allah and JC sure are still IN in the 07. Just look at any newspaper. Fucking IN. I'm sure my caller would be able to explain his "fucking religious beliefs" better if he had called back. So, I paid "this fucking faggot so he could get some more coke and be funny for another hour." Well he's giving Andrew more credit than I can! I have never heard him be funny. That coke-fueled God insulting hour must have been pretty good. God bless Danny. He ended it with a pretty sweet "call me back if you like. i don't care. great." It sounded like he was going to go and kill himself but that's for sinners and let he who cast the first stone......wait, I guess that would be me.
Why don't you call him? I may when I get home. Maybe from a pay phone. The only thing stopping me is that I agree that Andrew Dice Clay is indeed a fucking douchebag. Just not as much of a douchebag as someone telling me to die first thing in the morning. If any of you out there enjoy Andy Clay or Howard or Jackie the Joke man or whomever.....814-414-5619 is dying to share. Not to be confused with 857-5309. That one is for a good time.
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