Keeping Your Kids Safe and Helping Old Ladies, Maybe?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3mw49mk_x0
Since job security has reached a fresh and exciting new low here in the hallway I have decided to explore some other avenues of the American work force. These guys seem to know what is up. It would be good to give back to the tax paying community. I do not like taking tests though and I think there is a tough one to get in with these's guys program. That and I'd have to wrap up the finishing touches on my time machine to the year 1982 (A.D). Anybody out there have top notch soldering skills? Things like this probably will not be much of an issue if I get in to the AFSCME.

The Cat Whisperer

We moved our cat's litter box. I think she would like us to relocate it elsewhere. I can tell these things. She has been reading a lot about semiotics as of late.

Fitness Buff

Well I am not sure if I am just doing a super job or if they just do not keep close tabs on the budget codes but I'm in the best shape of my life. Thanks to Deb in circulation for snapping this pic before I really worked up a sweat.

While Slippy Supplies Last

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/hsh/288003558.html
Anybody interested? Just trying to help some co-workers out. They could really use the cash. They have got a lot of buns in a lot of ovens if you catch my drift. Wink. Wink.

Still Life With Hedonism, 2007, Mixed Media Installation

Due to the unfortunate and savagely bottom line liberal dispersal of pink slips last week there is an abundance of personal possesions scattered about the office, the hallway and the conference room. It is all up for grabs. It is a free for all with trinkets, trash and tween novels scattered about. I came across these items. I'm working on building a still life to be rendered in found poster paint while on my (as of yet to arrive) treadmill. Can you guess which department these things came from? Not sure. I'll give you a hint. It starts with an "m" and it rhymes with "blarketing." That is not entirely fair. This stuff could have come from ad sales. With this bounty you can compare you life to those of LIbertineslavania and work on your orange glow without even heading to the salon. That compass will help you circumnavigate your way around Selfabsorbityville before docking your husband's floating Corvette at the Yacht Club. It is an inboard with a boom. Word from the crow's nest has arrived......Upper East Side AHOY! The plastic drop cloth is for the trunk of my car and yes YOU were Time's Person of The Year. Cudos.

Remnants of A Job Well Done

Some things go with you when you're leaving your office for the final time on your last day. Things like the six month old rainbow sprinkles and coconut shavings from your large cup of Pistachio/Rasperry swirl Tasti-D-Lite, your old plasic fork and your tampon with a half torn open wrapper; those stay. They remain in your desk drawer for the help to clean up after you. You've got a train to Westchester to catch and have switched over to those winged pads anyway.

Premonition

Last week an entire cranium of the three-headed hydra that I work for was decapitated. The big boss man from way up on high galloped on in like Icabod's nemesis and axed forty five or so people and one entire entity. They chose the wrong day to misplace their talismans that protect them from the horseman. This deft coup de grace was rewarded with what has been called a "wildly unimpressive class A stock mini-bounce after the bloodletting." Hey, we all know what happened earlier this week. The ice in the hallway has never been thinner. I think I can see tadpoles. Maybe that was a bull shark. Could be curtains on this old hallway monitor. I vow to ride this painted pony with my sache proudly displayed on my journey into the bottom of the ocean or into the mud below. Carpe Diem. Or maybe Vaya con Dios.